AUTOBIOGRAPHY:
Hi, I’m
Miluska Cautter, I’m sixteen years old. I was born in Carrion Hospital the 23th
of march in 1997. I studied in a school of Callao and then, my last year in
secondary, I entered to TRILCE. By the time I was in school of Callao, I have
thought about my future career. To be sincere, I was planning to have two
careers: Psychology and architecture, but unfortunately I knew I couldn’t
understand math ( in general ) and finally I decided to be a psychologist. For
that reason I have prepared myself in an academy only for two months and then I
have been preparing by myself to apply to Ricardo Palma University. I started
ICPNA two years ago approximately and my future plans are finish ICPNA and then
start studying Japanese or any other language because I would like to be a
translator as a second career, then when I finish the university, I’ll get a
master degree and have a better opportunity to work abroad or almost have a
good job and a better life, not only for me also for my future family and my
mom, who motivate me to be better every day. I’m sure that I’m going to do it.
DESCRIBING
A SITUATION:
Last week ,
I bought an alarm in a store, it looks like a cheese and I like it because of
it and also for the price, it was affordable. Three days after, I saw that
alarm wasn’t working well, I decided to see what happened and I Tried to fix
it, but, how we know, in that kind of situations you need to give it to a
person who knows about the problem, the only thing that I could do is disarm
the alarm, inside of it , there were a lot of cables and different objects with
a los of colors, I didn’t move any piece but I cleaned it carefully and I armed
it again. Next day, It was 9 am and was programmed to wake me up at 8 am. I was
so angry that a I decided to take it to a technician, finally, two days after,
the technician told me that I have moved a very little piece of the alarm and
there were no solution. I said but how I could move a piece? I only cleaned it!
And then he explained me I needed to be more patient and wait for a technician
to fix it. The alarm doesn’t need to be cleaned, only to be adjusted. In that moment
I felt a combination of being angry, sad and shocked. I promise myself that
I’ll not touch anything if I don’t know how to fix it.
INVENTION:
In my
opinion, the most important invention in the last 200 years is the cell phone.
It have changed our lives and permitted us to be in contact with our relatives,
friends, etc. I mean, cell phones were invented by Martín Cooper a worker of
Motorola’s company ( 85 years old ) the 3rd of April in 1973 United
states, at the beginning were used by military people and some companies. In
1983 were smaller than the first invented and finally they have been using by
public in general, since that year, people try to have one, nowadays, people
can’t live without a cell phone. It have many sources that you can enjoy, one of
them is Internet and many programs like Microsoft office, reproducer of video
and audio, camera, and many others, they can be used also for entertainment,
search and find information about directions, also you don’t need a watch,
alarm or calendar because cell phones work as a reminder, also edit pictures ,
safe information like USB, download music, pages, posts, cards, and many
others. Talking about colors and form, there are a variety of cell phones and
also brand names, and if it’s too expensive, you can find a knock off that have
the same things. Some of the disadvantages are too obvious, robbers are always
around you so you need to be careful, persons who suffer of heart problems are
not allowed to use cell phones because they change the rhythm, also people who
don’t have more than 15 years old can be damage because of the use of cell
phones, they have radioactive waves that affect our organs.
miluska well i think you have an exited life, you want to be a Psychology me too well now i don't want it because i want another career but i think you will do it very well you are so smart also i think you are planning a lot your life but it sounds like you know what you want to do and be every time in your life and this is good, good look
ResponderEliminaryour situation is so fun so i think you have to know when you buy it if the material is good, see the price if it is so cheap it means that it could breack, i thing you have to know those little things before you buy it cuold help you a lot
ResponderEliminarabout the invention i think you chossed a good invention the cell phone is very inportant in our lives but i didn´t know about the disadvantages i was in shock now i know more about the cell phone well i think the most inportant advice is be careful and don´t be addicted
Miluska I think it'll be a good psychologist because you are a great person, I like to listen to others, give good advice to people who need it and I know you will you will leave ahead and explore these two university courses
ResponderEliminarI've laughed a lot with your situation because you imagine fixing the alarm. I think from the beginning you should take the alarm where a person who knows fix those objects. I think before you buy something we should check if there has any problem.
I think you've chosen a good invension because I think now everyone know that cell phones are very important in our lives because it helps us to communicate with other people but we must be careful with all the disadvantage that has this device
miluska i think you have problems with definite and indefinite articles, the first line when you born, where you studied, don`t use of to much because is not necessary, when you write there were don´t use a lot of .. just lot, you have problems with ponctuation, the invention, the first part , it has
ResponderEliminarI looks pretty good to me. Maybe the only think is when you mentioned "school of Callao" I don't know if you are referring to the name of the school or a school that is in school. Other than that everything looks good. Great job, wish you the best in the future.
ResponderEliminar*It
ResponderEliminarPoor use of simple present 3rd person Form and again not enough periods.I think that but in general the I like the composition.
ResponderEliminarI like your composition, only in some you have forgotten a few letters like “a los of colors”, and the correct word is: a LOT of colors. On the other hand you have written, “I said but how COULD I move a piece? But I think it's like this: I said but how I could move a piece? Just that. Good job Miluska
ResponderEliminar